Not So Simple Misunderstandings
by PonderingPotter
Summary: Barry is drowning in all the stress that comes with altering a timeline and accidentally causing one of your best friends to have potentially deadly powers, and he's beyond exhausted when he gets put on probation thanks to Julian's constant complaining about his tardiness. He rants, saying some nasty things before it's realized that Julian has overheard and is reasonably devastated


B & H draft 1

Joe could tell, just glancing his sons face, that Barry was having one of his off days. He could read it in the furrow of his brow, the flush in his cheeks, and the curl and uncurl of his fist; a sign he was feeling impatient or agitated. Well, that and the fact that there was a coffee stain that ran from the center of his chest all the way down to the bottom of his shirt. The fact that the shirt was white didn't help to hide it.

"That's a new look for you, Barr. Changing up your style on us? I was getting so used to hoodies and sneakers." He smirked, hoping the gentle teasing would help to relax the boy. Barry didn't seem to hear him, glancing nervously up the stairs as if contemplating whether he should go up. Immediately, Joe knew what was troubling him and sighed, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder to ensure he got Barrys attention, "I know it's been tough for you, dealing with this new timeline and worrying about Caitlyn's powers, but you're putting unnecessary stress on yourself if you're worrying about Julian now, too. So you're a little late, that's nothing new, Run home and change your shirt, it will barely make a difference. You know he'll be pissed off either way. How did you even manage a stain like that?"

Almost automatically, Barry explained, "I noticed I was about to be late, so I ran, straight into stale coffee that someone dumped out their car window."

"You don't even know whose coffee it is?" Joe asked, a slight smile twitching on his face, "Go change, and be quick about it."

Barry studied him a moment before giving in with a sigh, and Joe barely felt him dash out from under his arm before he was back with a new shirt, his hair wind-swept but his face just as pinched as it had been when he had first come through the doors. Barry smiled apologetically, and explained, mussing his hair further as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry, it's just been a difficult few days, and I'm really not up to dealing with Julian today. With everything going on with Caitlyn...I just really want to be there for her, you know? I mean, it's my fault she's dealing with these powers at all, I feel bad ducking out all the time. When I got my speed, I had someone there to teach me how to use it, but with her...she's alone."

"Hey, listen to me," Joe shook his head, his stomach curling as he read the guilt in his sons face, "Caitlyn is not alone; she's got all of us here to support her, and we will figure this out in time. We always do. Right now, you just need to focus on your job; rumor has it that Singh has taken note of your tardiness, and with the nagging from Julian, it's only a matter of time before he does something about it. You've got to stay in his good books, Barr, or your life os only going to be more difficult than it already is."

"Yeah, well, it's hard to do right by Julian, so I may as well not try." Barry shook his head, looking exhausted. Before Joe could respond, Barry hitched his bag up higher on his shoulder, gave a tight smile, and headed towards the stairs to get to the labs.

Just before he disappeared from view, Joe called after him, feeling he had to try at least once more, "Barry!"

Barry stopped and turned, an eyebrow quirked in question, and Joe continued, doing his best to smile encouragingly, "If you in expecting to be defeated, you've already lost the battle. Nobody I know could possibly hate Barry Allen. Chin up."

He felt his chest swell with pride when he saw the smile tugging at Barrys lips, despite his best efforts to keep it at bay. Confident that he had aided him in avoiding disaster with Julian, Joe moved on to his desk, sinking slightly as he noticed the pile of paperwork he had left last night had doubled in size already. He remembered what he told Barry, and forced a smile as he set to work.

The smile didn't last long, and apparently neither did Barry's, as Captain Singh cornered him as he came down the stairs at half past noon for lunch. Joe could already sense trouble, and moved closer to the front desk to listen in, though it wasn't difficult with how their voices were raised, Barry arguing heatedly, "It was barely ten minutes! You can't really be taking his side on this?"

"I'm sorry, but I've told you before that your tardiness is in issue. Julian is right; it reflects badly on the department and it sends a bad message to other employees if I keep letting you get away with it. I'm your boss, I can't play favorites, and letting it go on for this long is simply unprofessional. It's just a warning, Allen, but if you come to work late again I will have no choice but to suspend you."

"So, what is this, I'm on probation now?"

"Just until the end of the month unless it becomes a problem again. I can overlook your being late to crime scenes because or your lack of a car, but showing up late every day to your job is not something i should have let slide for so long. I know the central city busses are more than able to get you here on time, and I'm sure you could find a coworker that is willing to give you a lift. I can't keep playing babysitter, it's time I start holding my employees accountable for what they do. Only two more weeks; show me you can do this small thing for me."

Barry didn't answer, his jaw clenched, and Captain Singh sighed, turning on his heel and stalking towards his office, waving another officer to follow him, likely to discuss an arrest that had been made an hour ago. Joe waited for Barry to walk to him, and wordlessly followed him away from the desk and towards the center of the floor, so that they stood on the CCPD crest that was emblazoned on the linoleum floor.

"That didn't seem so bad, you gat a ride with me from now on. I know I show up an hour earlier than you do, but if thats what it takes to get you off the hook, I think it's our best plan. It's really-"

"You didn't hear all of it. You know, I am so sick of Julian's constant judgement. I was yelled at over being disorganized, when, excuse me, you try and maintain a perfect workspace when you're constantly being called out to save someone or fight some meta. The worst part, you know, is that Julian just sat there, all smug like he'd won something. I could tell he was loving every minute of it; he painted it where he looks like a prince, and _I_ look like some half-wit delinquent that doesn't know how to do his job, when _both of us_ know that's not true." Barry said breathlessly, a manic edge coloring his voice.

Joe knew a breakdown when he saw one, and this one was fueled by exhaustion, fear, frustration, and embarrassment from being called out by his boss. It was time for damage control; to step in and stop Barry from completely imploding and making things worse on himself-his breakdowns were always followed by guilt, as if Barry didn't think he deserved to feel how he did; as if he held himself to a different standard than everyone else, and didn't know how to let himself feel helpless. Barry was on a roll, though, and Joe wasn't sure he could stop him if he tried, now that he was getting everything off of his chest.

"He thinks he's so proper, and he knows best, but _I'm_ not the one that nearly shot a kid, am I? He's conveniently forgetting that when he complains to Singh, I've noticed. Always acting so smug, with his little digs, and his comments, and the dirty looks he gives me-even when I'm not looking, I can feel when he's glaring at me."

"Barry," Joe tried to interrupt, knowing that while Barry may not like the guy, he wouldn't typically be so harsh, and the fact that he was proved he was suffering more than he let on to Joe, or to anyone else, for that matter.

"You know," Barry spat, almost like his Julian thinks you're all playing favorites. Bet he never considered that it's just that nobody can stand him, and he shouldn't be surprised; even his _parents_ don't want him around. I get it, really; I hate him so much I would have him move countries too, if I could."

"Barry, stop, are you hearing yourself? Some of this is on you, too. If you could just humor him and try to be on time, and clean up a little, maybe you two could work it out and-"

It spoke volumes of his mental state that Barry wasn't phased, and didn't slow his tirade, complaining in earnest, his eyes wide and almost appearing spooked, "I've tried being friendly with him; it doesn't work. It's no wonder he has no friends; nobody can stand being around him. I will tear my hair out before I give that smarmy ass a chance." Barry said, breathing hard as he came to a stop. He didn't say anything for several seconds, catching his breath, and seemed to suddenly register where he was, blinking in surprise at himself as he stood to his full height, looking bewildered at Joe, and then wincing at the incredulous expression he was being faced with.

Joe waited patiently, not sure what he should say, and decided to let Barry decide what to do about what had just happened. It took several minutes before Barry said, color rising in his face, "I don't know where that came from. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have freaked out, it's not even a big deal, I'll just get here early from now on. No problem. I'll..."

He trailed off and Joe shook his head, patting Barry's arm and telling him sympathetically, "That was your exhaustion speaking, not you. I get it. Go home and catch up on sleep. Try not to stress. I'll tell Singh that you got food poisoning, and had no choice but to head home. I'll text you when I get off to see how you feel."

"Joe, I-"

"Go. You've earned an afternoon of peace. Besides, you'll give Julian a break from you, and maybe it will put him in better spirits. You can try again tomorrow."

Barry snorted, but headed gratefully out the front doors, deciding to walk home, too tired to run. The fresh air felt nice, and helped clear his head. He couldn't help feeling maybe he _was_ worrying too much _._

Singh hardly seemed to mind that Barry had disappeared when Joe told him he was sick after he came back from his lunch break. He caught him as he was coming down the stairs to tell him, and instead of being suspicious he appeared to be concerned, his mouth twisting into a frown as he said, "I hope it's nothing going around. Albert-Julian, that is, not the Albert working in records-seemed out of sorts, too. You keep away from them if they start running fevers, Detective West, I can't afford to have a shortage of staff with all these metas cropping up."

Joe nodded, relieved that Barry hadn't been accused of skipping work for something trivial, but he couldn't help feeling suspicious that Julian was feeling under the weather so suddenly. The thought that there was something going on chewed steadily at the back of Joes thoughts as he reluctantly headed back to his desk, as did thoughts about Barry and the stress he as under, and ultimately they kept his mind so occupied that he was the last officer left in the building that wasn't on late shift. Most of the lights were dim by the time he left, as it was a slow night and most of the day shift had finished what little work needed to be done, leaving a lazy atmosphere for the night shift. Joe would have finished too if he wasn't so distracted, and headed out with a lazy wave to his fellow officers, who sent him off with a chorus of "Goodnight"'s.

He was nearly out the door when he saw that the light was still on in the upstairs office. Julian should have headed home hours ago, and it wasn't like him to leave the light on. Against his better judgement, Joe trudged up the stairs, apprehension coiling in his chest.

He ducked his head into the office, and miraculously found it empty. He reached for the light switch to turn out the lights, but a sound from the corner of the room stopped him; a soft snuffling sound, like someone trying very hard not to be heard. He peered around a file case and his heart sank. The office wasn't empty after all. Julian was hunched over a book about toxic plants and a stack of paperwork about blood samples, and didn't appear to notice that he wasn't alone. Joe knew he should have left the young man on his own, seeng that he was upset; eyes rimmed and red, tear streaks dry but visible on his cheeks, but something Barry said that afternoon stuck with him. He was right when he said Julian didn't have any friends in Central City; Joe hadn't seen him getting close to anyone, and he knew what loneliness could do to a person; he remembered how hard it was when Iris's mom first left, but even then he had had the kids to distract him from the pain of feeling utterly alone and abandon. It wasn't a feeling he liked to revisit, and he could only guess Julian had it much harder, with nobody to talk to, so he tamped down the voice in his head saying it was a bad idea and awkwardly cleared his throat.

Julian jerked in place and slammed his book closed, swiveling around in his chair in alarm, hand already rising to his face to scrub off the evidence that he had been crying. He looked so lost that Joe felt his chest tighten sympathetically, and he wordlessly moved a spare chair closer to the man, lowering himself into it and asking as gently as he could manage, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Julian said hoarsely, not unexpectedly. Joe didn't expect him to, at least not immediately, and nodded, pretending to look at the blood work papers instead as Julian quickly wiped at his eyes. Apparently, having company only made him more upset.

Joe gave him another minute to compose himself before he turned back towards him and started in again, trying to sound casual, "'Captain Singh said you weren't feeling your best. You know, he would understand if you took the day off. Barry felt sick too, it's why he never came back, but I assume you already knew that."

"Yeah?" Julian asked, with a weak smile, "I'm sure that's why he didn't come back, nothing to do with the fact that he can't stand me."

Something in his tone made Joe stiffen, and he briefly wondered if his conversation with Barry had been overheard, but dashed the idea quickly. Julian couldn't have heard them; he was a floor away...unless he had come down to have his lunch break, and neither Joe nor Barry had noticed. He chanced a look at Julians face and the theory was confirmed when the younger looked towards the floor, but not before Joe read the pain that flashed in his eyes. His stomach sank. He was getting good at reading Julian Albert; he already knew that the man felt lonely, that he feared failure, and that he wanted nothing more than to prove himself worthy to someone; perhaps to Barry most of all.

Nobody else may have noticed the crush Julian was harboring, but Joe West was no idiot, and he had grown to recognize expressions of adoration, no matter how deeply the owner tried to bury them. The expression was still there in Julians face, underneath the hurt layered over it, and Joe winced. He would have tried harder to stop Barry if he had thought there was a chance he would be overheard, especially by his co-worker, who was much more sensitive than he had let on. Julian had to understand that Barry didn't mean any of what he'd said; that his son didn't talk about people like that, and that he didn't ever intend to hut his partner. He didn't know how to say that, exactly, so he instead sighed heavily and said, "It's late, let me walk you home. We can talk about what you heard on the way. Barry isn't-he isn't like that. He doesn't do that, or talk about people that way, and-

"Well, don't I feel special." Julian scoffed, and Joe realized with horror that this only made it worse, and tears were welling in blue eyes all over again.

He hurried to continue, correcting, "And if he had _any_ idea that you heard that, and that he hurt you, he would never forgive himself."

"Yes, well, we wouldn't want the golden boy to feel bad, would we?" Julian sneered, though Joe heard a sniffle that told more than his angry facade ever could.

"Julian-"

"It's Mr. Albert, it you don't mind, and, you know, I think I'll walk myself home, thanks." Julian snapped, and walked briskly away, gathering his jacket and his bad with a swollen-eyed glare that normally would have been impressive.

Joe didn't protest, and left shortly after Julian disappeared out the front doors. He didn't know how to fix things, but he did know that Barry was stressed beyond his limits, and Julian was feeling rejected and unwanted. Maybe, he couldn't help hoping, they could help each other get through things.


End file.
